Question

Help me formulate this email. I mean grammatically and academy. (I try to make the email very nice).

Dear Dr. George ,

I am writing this letter regarding the information that you are awaiting from Prof. Timothy related to my application.

After you have discussed regarding my application update with my close friend Mr. Ali, he had checked with Dr.Timothy about the information that you are awaiting, and he told him didn't received anything from the admissions office. Also Mr. Ali had checked with Dr. Timothy about the related e-mails I have sent to him, but Prof. Timothy has not received my emails even after sending more than three times. So maybe he has a technical problem in receiving emails

I would request you to help me and connect with Prof. Timothy through other means like contacting through phone or by visiting him. I know I probably don't have the right to ask that, but I need to submit my papers within the deadline given by my sponsor to upgrade my scholarship from US to UK. Thank you for your time and I look forward to hearing from you.

Yours sincerely,

Salman

Answer 1

Most of the content of the email is good and to the point.

Here is how you can improve it.

------------------------------

Dear Dr. George,

Greetings!

I hope you are doing great !

I am writing this letter to update you regarding the information that you are seeking from Prof. Timothy related to my application.

After you have had a discussion my application with a friend of mine,  Mr. Ali, he went and checked with Dr.Timothy about the information that you are seeking, and Dr. Timothy told him that he didn't receive any update from the admissions office.

My friend had also checked for the emails which I have sent to Dr. Timothy, but unfortunately Dr. Timothy has not received any of my email even though I have sent it for more than three times.

I suspect that my emails are not going through due to some technical glitch on either my end or Dr. Timothy's end.

It is my kind request to you to help me connect with Dr Timothy either by a phone or by any other mean possible as this is really urgent because I have to submit my papers provided by my sponsor,  before the deadlines in order to upgrade my scholarship from US to UK.

I really appreciate for your time and really hope and look forward to hearing from you.

Thank you,