Question

1. What does it mean for relationship patterns when the authors say that “attachment makes familiarity trump worth”?

2. Why is it so difficult to learn new patterns of emotional relatedness later in life?

Answer 1

Before jumping to attachment and familiarity we will see what exactly relationship pattern is .

It is like you are repeating the same behavior or gesture with different people in your life.It can happen with anyone in you life may be your parents ,friends,spouse ,business partners or any relation.These patterns could be both bad or good it completely varies from person to person and situation to situation.

Our relationship patterns mostly depends on few basic things:

1)Choice:

The kind of person we choose to be in a relationship with .

2)Interaction

How do we interact with them or treat them or how do they treat us .The behavior used during the phase.

3)Space

How do we allow them to stay in our life ,what priority we give them.How we allow them to express themselves.

Attachment is and emotional bond with a person or it may be with a place or anything.An emotional attachment outgrows when their is familiarity.For example a mother and a child.Few relationship are of caretaker pattern where one is more caring and concern about other hence familiarity boost the attachment .

it so difficult to learn new patterns of emotional relatedness later in life as one is habitual.Making changes later in life process is either slow or their is no scope.Learning new things at later stage of life is very difficult as priority changes,level of excitement changes,Brain and body coordination.It's difficult to change the series of experience one had in a long time.The people generally develops a pattern in their life in the whole tenure and then developing or learning new things become hard .